Page 2810 - Shakespeare - Vol. 2

’Sfoot, I’ll learn to conjure and raise [5] devils, but I’ll see some issue of my
spiteful execrations. Then there’s Achilles − a rare engineer. If Troy be not
taken till these two undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall of
themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Olympus, forget that thou art

Jove, the king of gods; [10] and Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy
caduceus, if thou take not that little little, less than little wit from them that
they have! − which short-armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant scarce
it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider without [15] drawing

their massy irons and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole
camp − or rather, the Neapolitan bone-ache − for that, methinks, is the curse
dependent on those that war for a placket. I have said my prayers, and devil
Envy say ‘Amen’. − What, ho! My [20] Lord Achilles!

Enter Patroclus.

PATROCLUS

Who’s there? Thersites! Good Thersites, come in and rail.

THERSITES
If I could have remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou wouldst not have slipped
out of my contemplation; [25] but it is no matter − thyself upon thyself! The
common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue!
Heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near thee! Let thy

blood be thy direction till thy death; then if she that lays thee out [30] says
thou art a fair corpse, I’ll be sworn and sworn upon’t, she never shrouded any
but lazars. Amen. − Where’s Achilles?

PATROCLUS
What, art thou devout? Wast thou in a prayer? [35]

THERSITES

Ay, the heavens hear me!

PATROCLUS

Amen.

Enter Achilles.