Page 2001 - Shakespeare - Vol. 2

JAQUES

How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this [50] fellow.

DUKE SENIOR
I like him very well.

TOUCHSTONE
God ’ild you sir, I desire you of the like. I press in here sir, amongst the rest
of the country copulatives, to swear and to forswear, according as marriage

[55] binds and blood breaks. A poor virgin sir, an ill-favoured thing sir, but
mine own; a poor humour of mine sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich
honesty dwells like a miser sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul
oyster. [60]

DUKE SENIOR
By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.

TOUCHSTONE
According to the fool’s bolt sir, and such dulcet diseases.

JAQUES

But for the seventh cause. How did you find the [65] quarrel on the seventh
cause?

TOUCHSTONE
Upon a lie seven times removed. (Bear your body more seeming, Audrey.) As
thus sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier’s beard; he sent me word, if

I said his beard was not well cut, he was in the [70] mind it was; this is called
the Retort Courteous. If I sent him word again, it was not well cut, he would
send me word he cut it to please himself; this is called the Quip Modest. If
again it was not well cut, he disabled my judgement; this is called the Reply
Churlish. If again it [75] was not well cut, he would answer I spake not true;

this is called the Reproof Valiant. If again it was not well cut, he would say, I
lie; this is called the Countercheck Quarrelsome. And so to the Lie
Circumstantial and the Lie Direct. [80]

JAQUES