Page 2417 - Shakespeare - Vol. 1

A very beadle to a humorous sigh,
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent! [175]
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid,
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents, [180]
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general
Of trotting paritors - O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field,
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop! [185]
What? I love? I sue? I seek a wife?
A woman, that is like a German clock,
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right! [190]
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And among three to love the worst of all -
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed [195]
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard!
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her,
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might. [200]
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, and groan;
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan.

Exit.